Month: March 2005

I don’t know why but I expected air travel to be more glamorous. For only the second time in my life I’m taking a plane this morning on my way to a ‘vacation’ of sorts to toronto and Ottawa for a week. I suppose maybe it’s just the fact I’m flying out of Detroit and it’s got to be one of the most UN-glamorous cities in the world, but there is nothing exciting or cool about it, and most of the people around have either been old, lame, or ghetto oddly enough. I was told to get to the terminal early (ie. 2hrs) since this is technically an international flight. The actual e-ticket process (no physical ticket) which initially weirded me out has so far been the least stressful part of travel. After taking only 10mins to check in and get thru security and realizing I had another 1hr 50mins, I bought a magazine (blender) which I promptly read. They ask you take laptops out of your carry on bag but then don’t tell you what to do with it, so I tried to walk thru with it and the metal detectors promptly went ape-shit. I then had to take my shoes off, belt, coat, laptop etc off in a bin thru the screening machine and got thru fine despite the metal in my ears & mouth (the chick supervising had a giggle about my fear of it going off). Now I sit staring out the window and writing this log since there’s no fucking wireless to waste time on the net. I hear there’s free wireless in Pittsburg where I have a 40min layover so we’ll see how that goes.

…

Once they told me to turn my cell phone off on the plane it was like I was in limbo w/ no idea what time it was etc. The flight from Detroit to Pittsburg was fast. About the time we leveled off it was time to go back down again. I made it a point to grab window seats on all my flights, but so far it’s been cloudy and didn’t get much scenery. We landed in Pittsburg at 11:50 and my connector flight left at 12:00. They took their sweet ass time docking the plane and shit, so by the time I took off running across the terminal I showed up just in time to watch my plane leaving the gate. Cool! It actually wasn’t that unpleasant of an experience. As soon as I got to the gate I asked someone and they had already booked me on a new flight leaving at 4:15. They also tried to get me a meal ticket but the airline claimed that de-icing delays are not their fault so no freebie meal for me. Other than the “rescheduling” it’s really not too bad and I can’t complain. Pittsburg does in fact have FREE WIRELESS and that’s just beyond cool. I’m currently listening to my favorite online trance music station with my feet up at a window seat charging my laptop & cellphone while IRCing. Only thing missing at this point is a la-z-boy to lounge on.

After a week of nothing really to write about and no interesting activity upstairs I was almost concerned for the welfare of the fattie upstairs. Is she stranded somewhere? Was she arrested? Is she dead?
I was all prepared to make a note to see what the (lack) of a fuss has been.
In a startling development I was awoken to what I can only assume is either a washing machine stuck on the spin cycle off-balance or 400lbs of lard having it’s momentum shifted in a regular pattern.
It was scary.
It was so scary I had to leave the room.
I took a piss and could hear it in the bathroom.
I walked into the living room to turn the heat up a bit (cold as fuck in the apt this morning) and I could hear it.
The heat kicked on and over the sound of the furnace, I could still fucking hear it.
You know that scene in Jurassic Park where it’s just after the power goes out in the trucks and there is a cup of water inside, and wouldn’t you know it the dinosaurs are so heavy they shake the water in the cup when they walk?
Sure enough – the cup of water on my nightstand was detecting a full blown fucking T-Rex.
Fuck that shit.
I pounded on the ceiling a few times; no response.
I tried it again; no response.
Is she deaf? No, she’s just a fattie and getting it on and doesn’t want to stop.
Of course just my luck the heat kicked off and suddenly the shitstorm hit.
Luckily it doesn’t take very long for her to finish.
So now it’s 3:47 am and I’m left to draw my own conclusions.
I’ll update this after I try to get some sleep.

Last Friday night (Feb 25) I proposed to my girlfriend of over 5yrs and she said yes (duh!). So spread the word, there will probably be lots of partyin’ goin on. Cruise on over to mattandchrista.com to get more info and photos and stuff.