A shouting match of ignorance.

Why can no one talk about health care reform like an adult? Why does every discussion deteriorate into a fist fight within 2 minutes?

I’m tired of baseless propaganda from both sides.

The way I see it you have 2 options:

You can just let Capitalism do its thing — you’ve got health insurance which you pay for so fuck everyone else if you make too little to have an employer insure you. Or you can provide a minimum level of coverage for all — for a cost.

On one side, Capitalism doesn’t give a fuck about anyone. On the other, there is a stop-gap in place for society as a whole.

If you stop and think about it we’re all paying for either option out of our own pocket, it’s just a matter of which pot gets filled.

Dear Ice Cream Truck circling the neighborhood nearby like a shark on a boating accident,

It’s 1:30 in the afternoon you idiot, the kids are in school.

Using the U-Scan should not be a 20 fucking minute process.
Scan, bag, scan, bag, scan, bag, pay, done. It seems so simple, yet there are SOOOOOOOO many people out there can’t handle the complexity of the U-Scan lanes.

It’s not rocket science, fuckers. If you can’t take the heat, get the fuck out of the kitchen.

Do yourself a favor and quit demonstrating to the rest of the world you aren’t capable of functioning in a rapidly advancing technological society.

Oh, and for the love of god people, CHECKS? People still use checks?!!!???!?!?!

It completely blows my mind that in a climate where there is a chance for snow at least 7 months out of the year SO MANY FUCKING PEOPLE CAN’T DRIVE IN IT!

Seriously. Did you forget how to drive in the 2 days since it last snowed?

I’ve decided it’s not the snow itself that’s the problem, it’s the drivers in it. You see, snow has this amazing quality of turning marginally smart people into stark raving mad idiots when a few flakes start to fly.

So what the hell is your problem anyway?

Most of you already know there are a lot of things out there that piss me off. In the spirit of my own sanity and having my own platform to bitch, I present to you the first in a mostly semi-monthly probably-whenever-the-fuck-something-pisses-me-off series I’m calling: Chances Are You Piss Me Off.

Dear People That Park Their Car at the Front Door of a Store,

Fuck You.

I work hard at getting my spot 5 or 6 back in the parking lot with the rest of the human population not good enough to be you. If I have to, I’ll circle the lot 3 or 4 times to pickup that awesome spot near the front. The fact you gloat as you put it in park in the most obvious of non-parking places serves to enrage me even further as you wave cars to pass you, because you, yes YOU, and every right to sit in the way of everyone else.

I’d love to stop and ask you when you were ever elected His Highness King Asshole, or Her Majesty Queen I-Do-What-I-Want, but I usually stop myself knowing full well my vocabulary at that point would consist of nothing more than ULTRA FANCY four letter words your tiny brain might not comprehend. Instead I can offer nothing more than a glare featuring a nasty sneer.

So the next time one of you even thinks about pulling that must supreme of lazy-asshole maneuvers, let me know. I’ll help you decide not to.

My phone rings at work, and I answer as I’m oft to do in such situations…

Phone: How do you spell politicians and officials?
Me: Can’t you just use spellcheck?
Phone: Yes but none of them are in their office right now.

Normally I don’t even try to talk politics to conservative friends and family, or try to bring the subject on my blog. Not because I don’t value intelligent discussion, but because it usually takes all of 5 minutes for me to get so angry at people who refuse to see the other side of the coin that all I can do is sputter and froth a little at the mouth.

The past 2 days, I’ve been doing a lot of sputtering and frothing while watching the Republicans dance around the issues and build a facade of truthiness to an otherwise blinders-on-to-the-world point of view, and frankly, it makes me sick.

How about a little facts check, and if you have the time, read this. It’s written by someone who is more eloquent than my sputtering and frothing could ever be.

Vote Obama 08

If you’ve got to go, go out in style! The Detroit mayor’s resignation and guilty pleas trump the Republican National Convention coverage today.

At least the embarrassment is over and some good thorough house cleaning can get underway to move the city forward.

It’s been a bad week for cars in the Ferndizzy…

Last week Christa spent several hundred dollars to have the dealership tell her she has a transmission problem, and it’ll be $3400 to replace. Then she went for a 2nd opinion and a specialty transmission shop where it stayed for the better part of 4 days for them to diagnose the problem as “probably” some value or something or other deep inside, so $3400 to replace.

Thursday we went bowling at the Majestic Theater‘s Garden Bowl, and after a night of myself kicking ass and taking names, we went back out to my car, I lifted the door handle, and felt something break. After getting in and out of my car all DUKES OF HAZZARD style for a few days, I spent 2 1/2 hours taking my door apart – sure enough the plastic handle broke. There were no used ones available at any junkyards I called on Saturday, so it’s $62 to replace it with a new one – catch is that won’t be in for another 3-5 days.

I’m ready to just screw it all and take public transit.

I could have taken the easy way out on my porch project, but I didn’t. I could have put ugly green Astroturf to hide the crumbling steps, jammed a bunch of concrete into the part on the side crumbling and painted it, or just fucking stuck a huge flower pot in front of it to hide it. Nope, we chose to take it out and rebuild it to improve the aesthetic of the front approach to our house. Seemed like a good idea at the time…

© Caricatures Ireland

So I went down today for the second time to apply for a building permit to rebuild my porch. The first time I went I got a brief overview of what I needed to submit, so I went back this morning to submit it hoping I could get started working this weekend. Apparently that won’t be happening. After speaking with the building inspector, he apparently has taken an interest in my project because now he is requiring:

• A site visit to verify construction materials & the dimensions of the old porch
• Verification that my new porch will not encroach farther than the average porch of every house within 650 feet of either direction of my house on my side of the street
• Pictures of the old porch
• A property survey
• 12-14 days for plan verification before approval

That’s all super fantastic except that:

1. I don’t have a fucking property survey, so lets add another fee to my list of costs I wasn’t planning
2. I have a huge fucking hole right outside my front door which I can’t do anything with for 12-14 days while he verifies my plans, construction materials, and old dimensions

I would like to give the city the benefit of the doubt and think that they (Ferndale) appreciate my youthful enthusiasm and willingness to learn about home-owner processes, but if there is one thing I can’t stand is all this bureaucratic bullshit.