Detroit transplants living in Dallas

Author: Matt (Page 36 of 41)

Work Antics

Picture this:
I walk into the copy room at work. It’s jam packed with 6 people furiously hitting buttons, pulling out drawers, and various punching/smacking of the copier. Every single one swearing under their breath and complaining how it always breaks down when they have the most stuff to do. I walk up and read on the display that paper is jammed in drawer 2. What would any normal human being with the mental ability to read at a grade 2 level do you ask? Why, open up drawer 2 following the handy dandy step by step picture instructions displayed on the colour screen of course!
One of the women then had the nerve to ask me how I did it. Why, it’s magic, and I’m not about to tell my secrets…

Canada gets a taste of Conservatism

Largely ignored by the media here in the states, Canada has elected a Conservative majority government.

Stephen Harper has promised to radically alter the relationship between Ottawa and all of the provinces.

Harper is also being urged to consider naming a Western Canadian to the post [Ottawa’s envoy to the US] in Washington. The Bush administration and members of Congress have grown increasingly interested in Alberta’s vast oilsands reserves, and some believe an ambassador from Alberta would be best suited to develop those energy ties.

I read three things from this:
1) Canada is going to lose its national identity & fracture into provincial sects (can you say Bloc Quebecious?!).
2) Harper is selling out & joining with Bush to fight terror in return for good ties with the US
3) The US’s money will soon be flowing into Alberta

How much longer until Canada becomes the 53rd state (after Iraq & Afghanistan, ie. East Texas & More East Texas)?

Hello Driver pt 2

This is turning into the bad-drivers-on-my-way-to-work blog but so be it!

According to the Michigan Department of Transportation website, when presented with a situation involving merging of 2 lanes:

“…a driver must merge into the proper lane. However, yield the right-of-way
to vehicles already in the left lane, or in the right lane in the
case of a “lane ends merge right” sign.”

The driver of the black Ford Escape license plate E94 02W clearly did not study this portion on his drivers training as he proceeded to push me off the road onto the shoulder so he could get by in front of me.

Hello Driver

To the old guy in a tan minivan who decided to make a 3 lane right turn from the inner lane to make a left (narrowly missing me and about 4 other cars) into the Oakland Mall, fuck you. You make driving in Detroit a pleasant experience.
Have a nice day.

Whoa

Where have I been again? Oh yah we basically have a kid now who will chew on everything the minute you dont pay attention to it.
The holidays are almost here and I have done ZERO shopping. Eek!

Holiday Cheer

Some people are retarded during the holidays. If I see one more BLOW UP CHRISTMAS DECORATION I’m going to leave skid marks in their front yard. Merry F-ing Xmas.

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