After a week of nothing really to write about and no interesting activity upstairs I was almost concerned for the welfare of the fattie upstairs. Is she stranded somewhere? Was she arrested? Is she dead?
I was all prepared to make a note to see what the (lack) of a fuss has been.
In a startling development I was awoken to what I can only assume is either a washing machine stuck on the spin cycle off-balance or 400lbs of lard having it’s momentum shifted in a regular pattern.
It was scary.
It was so scary I had to leave the room.
I took a piss and could hear it in the bathroom.
I walked into the living room to turn the heat up a bit (cold as fuck in the apt this morning) and I could hear it.
The heat kicked on and over the sound of the furnace, I could still fucking hear it.
You know that scene in Jurassic Park where it’s just after the power goes out in the trucks and there is a cup of water inside, and wouldn’t you know it the dinosaurs are so heavy they shake the water in the cup when they walk?
Sure enough – the cup of water on my nightstand was detecting a full blown fucking T-Rex.
Fuck that shit.
I pounded on the ceiling a few times; no response.
I tried it again; no response.
Is she deaf? No, she’s just a fattie and getting it on and doesn’t want to stop.
Of course just my luck the heat kicked off and suddenly the shitstorm hit.
Luckily it doesn’t take very long for her to finish.
So now it’s 3:47 am and I’m left to draw my own conclusions.
I’ll update this after I try to get some sleep.
Page 42 of 42
A friend sent this to me today and I thought it was semi-fitting because of recent events… 😉
Please don’t have sex anymore. The sound of your fat jiggling around on the mattress sounds like a heard of elephants jumping on a trampoline about to burst through the floor from down here.
I’ve written a poem:
Oceans of fat cells
Make waves on the bed.
Thumping on the floor.
Do you think no one else hears?
Squeek thump crash thump squeek.
Please don’t have sex again.
Besides, who are you kidding? I have yet to see a guy with you coming in or out with you – so put the dildo away or at least pleasure yourself when I am not trying to sleep.
Love,
Your neighbor the floor below you.
Last Friday night (Feb 25) I proposed to my girlfriend of over 5yrs and she said yes (duh!). So spread the word, there will probably be lots of partyin’ goin on. Cruise on over to mattandchrista.com to get more info and photos and stuff.
A byte walks into a bar and asks for a pint of beer. The bartender says “Whats wrong?”, byte says “Parity error”, the bartender says “Yeah I thought you looked a bit off”.
A+
I missed it on Tuesday but the NHL season has been cancelled for the year. That made me cry. I read something interesting today on the intarweb that the Boston Red Sox curse still lives, at least for hockey fans. When the Red Sox won the series in 1918, the following season’s Stanley Cup playoffs were canceled because of an influenza epidemic. Then everything went along fine for 85 years, with the Sox losing and the Cup being awarded. But then, last fall, the Red Sox won another series and, sure enough, hockey fans must now again suffer a Cupless season.
Fuck the Red Sox.
This is absolutely insane. Is there a global conciousness we all tap into with some part of our brain? Is this ultimately a holding ground for all of the memories of humanity, hence deja vu & reincarnation beliefs? I dont know but it’s facinating.
FYI: obscure Sneakers reference to the black box yada yada
so today is finally the day. i’m moving my office from our little small 3 man team where pretty much anything goes be it work or non-work (mostly) related to the “main office of impending work-bzzz doom”. i’ll have to answer some phones and crap, but i wont have a zillion people breathing down my neck anytime they need something done right now. you win some you lose some i guess. mainly i just want to get a little more noticed around the office and get involved w/ a few more server projects instead of the mindless tedium that is help desk. i only have a few more months here anyway and just plan on sucking all the practical experience and such out of this bitch before i cut the cord and get the hell out of here.
So almost a month after I promised myself I’d get into blogging my boring ass life, my life has remained boring ass and I haven’t recorded a damn thing!! Ugh. I’ll try to be better. I promise. Maybe.
so far this morning I’ve managed to get sucked into doing other people’s work because they are slacking lazyasses who wont take responsibility for themselves and are safely cushioned from retaliation of ‘the man’ somehow. Super.
I’m looking at some silent computing options for my home pc since it still manages to sound like a freight train rolling thru at night even after getting a spiffy new antec case w/ a 120mm fan on the back and a cpu heatsink blowhole on the side. The cpu fan is loud. Never ever ever buy a volcano unless you want the cpu to be cool and noisy. I’ve been looking at a few options; a Zalman 7000 all copper or a Thermalright XP-120. The XP-120 looks fackin cool though with the heat pipes and shiz (pic).
I have 4 Sam Adams left in my fridge, and about 300 pages to read in my Windows XP MCSE exam test prep book (70-720). Sounds like a lively night to me.
So I guess this is it; I’m selling out and joining the world of the blogger. Is my life really that interesting? Will anyone actually read these posts? There is so much ambiguity in these questions it hurts.
Who knows I suppose… It’s soon to be a new year, and a lot of fun/exciting things are sure to be coming my way soon, so I figure this will be a good forum to toot my own horn among other things.
It being after 7pm I think it’s time for some dinner. I’ve found myself eating at least a little salad every night now. Am I turning into an herbavore? Probably not. Time to George Forman some venison steak as well.