This is probably the most simple and easy to understand explanation I’ve heard of the credit crisis we’re all going through. So now we know about the problem, how the FUCK do we FIX IT?

The Crisis of Credit Visualized from Jonathan Jarvis on Vimeo.

Using the U-Scan should not be a 20 fucking minute process.
Scan, bag, scan, bag, scan, bag, pay, done. It seems so simple, yet there are SOOOOOOOO many people out there can’t handle the complexity of the U-Scan lanes.

It’s not rocket science, fuckers. If you can’t take the heat, get the fuck out of the kitchen.

Do yourself a favor and quit demonstrating to the rest of the world you aren’t capable of functioning in a rapidly advancing technological society.

Oh, and for the love of god people, CHECKS? People still use checks?!!!???!?!?!

Thanks to everyone who came out to celebrate another year since my birth closer to death. It was a blast to say the least… My liver is officially glad I only turn 29+1 once in my life. Next stop, AARP!

Monty Python’s Spamalot, the musical that set theatre back 1,000 years and captured Broadway’s Holy Grail (the tony award for best musical) was back in Detroit for a brief appearance at the Fisher Theatre in downtown Detroit. Lucky for us we caught the last show Sunday night. Who says there’s no culture** in Motor City?!

The show is lovingly “ripped-off” from the internationally famous comedy team’s most popular motion picture, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Telling the tale of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table in their quest for the Holy Grail, the campiness and satire from the 1974 movie translated nearly flawlessly to the stage. Well-integrated scenery and props were almost never a hindrance to the story being told. Many spots were funnier than the movie and possibly more irreverent; not just to religion and culture, but to Broadway itself. Most importantly, they even gave it a local spin by joking about ex-Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick in the show.

All in all it was a fantastic show, and a great excuse to see the Fisher Theatre for the 1st time, and the place is beautiful! The lobby area features some art deco tile work lavish with an Aztec-theme in the Mayan Revival style (thank you wiki!) with some insane detailing.

All in all this was a great show and a great (work) night out on the town!

** Any Broadway show referencing farts in particular directions and waving private parts at one’s aunties is TOTALLY cultured.

I was hanging out at the house on a Saturday night with a pair of unused 40oz beers when I decided to record an impromptu mix, so I did. While it’s not a technical masterpiece it is a showcase of any time any track mixing featuring some nice tech house cuts that you can just plop in the CD player and let play.

»» Download MP3 ««

Enjoy!

1. Shinedoe – Back In Tha Days [Intacto]
2. Dataworx – Control [Dataworx Digital]
3. Minilogue – Doiicie A [Minilogue]
4. Clinton Brown & Andy Chatterley – Sabotage Andy Chatterley Dub Mix) [Renaissance]
5. Moonface – U Get So Give (Paolo Mojo Remix) [Bedrock]
6. Who’s Who – Klack (Joris Voorn Remix) [Size Records]
7. Milton Jackson & Sei A – Clicks [Urbantorque]
8. Mark Storie – Kerplunk [Novakane]
9. Deadmau5 – Sometimes Things Get Whatever [Ultra]
10. Soliquid – Marghuerite [Baroque Records]
11. Jens Mangold – Bodyflush (DJ Wady & Patrick M Mix) [Cr2 Records]
12. Tim Jirgenson & Carlos Zarate – Huckleberry Chin [Thug Records]
13. Alex Kenji – A Lot Of [Hotfingers]
14. Dave Lee – Mucho Macho (Tiger Stripes Lithium Dub Mix) [ZRecords]
15. Paolo Driver & Andrea Mocce – Mamoru (Fog Filtershift Mix) [Nuhar Records]
16. Dataworx – Contact [Dataworx Digital]

Come join us in Ferndale for a pub crawl to celebrate someone who is old.

Check out the Evite.

Matt's Bday & Justin's Moving Party

Speaking of Wildlife In Detroit…
Just when I thought I’d heard it all, something like this comes along!

DETROIT (AP) – Authorities are trying to determine who dumped more than a ton of frozen chicken outside an old auto factory in Detroit.

The Detroit News reports at least 30 boxes containing the more than 2,000 pounds of sealed chicken breasts were found Sunday afternoon at the former Fisher Body plant on the city’s southwest side.

Source: Detroit News

• I’m sure it wasn’t Kwame, he’d never let a breast go to waste…
• Anyone have a good recipe for General Tso’s chicken?

Check out this video of Detroit (just ignore the French subtitles). It’s fairly long but the imagery is absolutely haunting.

Maple Mustard Barbecued Pork Chops

INGREDIENTS

• 1/2 cup dark amber maple syrup
• 4 tablespoons, 1/4 cup, spicy brown mustard
• 1/4 cup apple cider
• 1/4 medium onion, finely chopped
• 1/2 teaspoon allspice, eyeball it in your hand
• 1 teaspoon ground cumin, 1/3 palm full
• 8 center cut boneless pork loin chops, 1-inch thick
• Extra-virgin olive oil, for drizzling
• Grill seasoning blend or salt and pepper (preferred brand McCormick Montreal Steak Seasoning)
• 3 golden delicious apples, sliced across into 1/2-thick inch disks

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat grill pan or nonstick griddle pan over medium high heat. Preheat electric table top grills to high. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Combine maple syrup, mustard, cider, onion, allspice and cumin in a small saucepan and cook together over moderate heat for 5 minutes until sauce begins to thicken a bit.
3. Coat chops lightly in oil and season with salt and pepper. Cook chops on hot grill pan or indoor grill 3 minutes on each side. Baste chops liberally with sauce, cook 2 or 3 minutes more. Transfer chops to a baking sheet. Baste again with sauce and transfer to a hot oven to finish cooking them. Bake 10 to 12 minutes, until your apples are ready to come off the grill pan.
4. Wash apples but do not core or peel. Coat apple slices with a drizzle of oil. Season with grill seasoning or salt and pepper. Cover grill pan or indoor tabletop grill with as many pieces of apple as possible. As the apples get tender, pull them off and replace with more slices. Apples should cook 3 minutes on each side, you don’t want them too soft, just tender.
5. Platter chops with apples along side and serve.

We went to Costco this weekend and stocked up on some meat to freeze and use for dinners over the next month or so. I picked up some absolutely GIGANTIC filet mignon steaks for $6.00 each, and with a couple fresh veggies and other items on hand, I threw together this delicious dinner for the 2 of us for under $18.

Filet Mignon with Rich Balsamic Glaze

INGREDIENTS

• 2 filet mignon steaks
• 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper to taste
• salt to taste
• 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
• 1/4 cup dry red wine

DIRECTIONS

1. Sprinkle freshly ground pepper over both sides of each steak, and sprinkle with salt to taste.
2. Heat a nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Place steaks in hot pan, and cook for 1 minute on each side, or until browned. Reduce heat to medium-low, and add balsamic vinegar and red wine. Cover, and cook for 5 minutes on each side, basting with sauce when you turn the meat over.
3. Remove steaks to two warmed plates, spoon one tablespoon of glaze over each, and serve immediately.

Baked Asparagus

INGREDIENTS

• 1 bunch asparagus
• salt and pepper to taste
• 2 Tbsp olive oil

DIRECTIONS

1. Break the asparagus from the weak point on the stem.
2. Place the asparagus in a plastic bag with the olive oil and toss to coat.
3. Arrange asparagus in a single layer on a baking sheet and cook at 400°F for 12-16min to desired tenderness.

Garlic Smashed Potatoes

INGREDIENTS

• 4 large russet potatoes, cleaned & sliced, skin on
• 1 Tbsp butter
• splash of milk
• 1 glove garlic minced
• a bit of fresh dill

DIRECTIONS

1. Boil the potatoes for 15-20mins or until tender.
2. Add the rest of the ingredients and smash the potatoes in the pot.