It completely blows my mind that in a climate where there is a chance for snow at least 7 months out of the year SO MANY FUCKING PEOPLE CAN’T DRIVE IN IT!

Seriously. Did you forget how to drive in the 2 days since it last snowed?

I’ve decided it’s not the snow itself that’s the problem, it’s the drivers in it. You see, snow has this amazing quality of turning marginally smart people into stark raving mad idiots when a few flakes start to fly.

So what the hell is your problem anyway?

Hot on the heels of yesterday’s IT related video, here’s another absolute GEM:
“Computer Friends” [Stack the Memory] by Sniper Twins feat. Rob Collier

PURE. AWESOME.

How to get the IT department to do their actual job.

Most of you already know there are a lot of things out there that piss me off. In the spirit of my own sanity and having my own platform to bitch, I present to you the first in a mostly semi-monthly probably-whenever-the-fuck-something-pisses-me-off series I’m calling: Chances Are You Piss Me Off.

Dear People That Park Their Car at the Front Door of a Store,

Fuck You.

I work hard at getting my spot 5 or 6 back in the parking lot with the rest of the human population not good enough to be you. If I have to, I’ll circle the lot 3 or 4 times to pickup that awesome spot near the front. The fact you gloat as you put it in park in the most obvious of non-parking places serves to enrage me even further as you wave cars to pass you, because you, yes YOU, and every right to sit in the way of everyone else.

I’d love to stop and ask you when you were ever elected His Highness King Asshole, or Her Majesty Queen I-Do-What-I-Want, but I usually stop myself knowing full well my vocabulary at that point would consist of nothing more than ULTRA FANCY four letter words your tiny brain might not comprehend. Instead I can offer nothing more than a glare featuring a nasty sneer.

So the next time one of you even thinks about pulling that must supreme of lazy-asshole maneuvers, let me know. I’ll help you decide not to.

“You can always count on Americans to do the right thing – after they’ve tried everything else.” – Winston Chirchill

One of C’s favorite authors is David Sedaris. She’s read his books (read aloud to me the good bits) and I’ve listened to them a few times as an audio book, and let me tell you they are always good for an awkward I-can-relate-to-that laugh. So when I read his piece in the New Yorker today, I had to post it…

David Sedaris on undecided voters:

I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention?

To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

When it comes to finding ways to keep animals out of spots where they have no business in being, people can get really imaginative. Enter the Blender Defender, the latest and greatest in cat-on-the-counter-replulsing technology!

Have a cat that won’t stay off your counters? I do. I finally got fed up with it enough to do something about it: scare the crap out of him with a motion-detecting blender (while recording the results for my own amusement, of course).

Earlier this week the results of a study were released analyzing drinking habits and brain size.

Overall, the more alcohol consumed, the smaller the brain volume, with abstainers having a higher brain volume than former drinkers, light drinkers (one to seven drinks per week), moderate drinkers (eight to 14 drinks per week), and heavy drinkers (14 or more drinks per week).

At first I was concerned, but then I read another study about the brain and internet usage.

For middle-aged and older people at least, using the internet helps boost brain power, research suggests.

A University of California Los Angeles team found searching the web stimulated centres in the brain that controlled decision-making and complex reasoning.

I’m no longer concerned.

You find a box of individually wrapped snacky food products (think pretzels, chocolate wafers, and potato chips) with an expiration date over 2 years ago.

[poll id="1"]